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it just keep goin!

Feeling I had lost it
She came and gave me hope.
A light in the dark followed
but not without questioning.
I strive to learn the ways
in which I love
So that in return I’ll feel
the faith of 15,000 shared memories.
Without question
Without hesitation
Without fear
Holding strong to the present and feeling it for real
Never thinking “I must be mistaken
This is all too easy
There’s got to be something more
Never
Believing it was built on something superficial
Sexually motivated and confused by loss
Impaired foresight
Formidable boundaries to what I could conceive
Holding me back from really letting go
From falling in
From surrendering.

————————————
I don’t love in tranquility
I love in bursts of
passionate rage of fire
and moments filled
with electric moving lights
and I can’t stop
I bite my lip
I’m transfigured out
conformed to feeling
everything at once
It’s overload
Breaking my own boundaries
I’m losing sight of myself
and all is taken up in what I’m doing.
_______________________
I’m traveling through timewarps
to memories I’ve missed
landing on lips of crimson
I’ve so often kissed
Fictitious though they seem so real
I don’t know how I’m s’posed to feel.
———————————————
I fell in love in a deep place inside
my mind created
by my imagination.
I saw you
through the confusion and joy of
confusion and hilarious existence laughing
but I fell
in love when you
reached out your hand
for me to guide you and
keep you safely
in your own head.
That one contact
left in my mind and
we smiled and laughed and explained
our waking dreams and
it’s gotten continually deeper
as time passes and more comfortable
trying to understand
ourselves and eachother
trying to figure out
where we came from
where we’re going and what we mean.
But for me,
each glance each smile, each touch
or embrace or tap
brings me deeper
into what
I’m longing for but
know is not practical
but what do I know? What
do we know?
I haven’t been any more or less
confident in years so what can I do?
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

you’re in every thought picture I have
you’re so strongly woven into me (my carpet/Mexican blanket)
of past of memories I miss dearly
and do wonder where went wrong
≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

I want to draw flowerbright
paintscales into the artspace of
your living room
I think of you on flowers your
beauty reflects in blue white yellow
black among green.
I wish to scream and dream of
you more as I so often hear
you to me in my daydreams.

You come to mind by
happenstance a dream I often
wish perchance would come true.
You come through my daydreams
though dazed
    I wish on your memory
to come true to now and bring
me comfort, not just of
senses,
of being of breathing
of bleeding and beating out
my heart each night.

I wish of you to come tru me
loving you happily whole-heartedly
hard-timingly held-fastedly sure
    That I won’t break down
    again backfire backlash
    flashback to my no-security zone
    of insecure innocence
I dream of you nightly flowing back
into my stream of consciousness
feeding my thoughts & desires with
wishes and dreams and guidance.
Your presence floats me in
dark black nightmare waters.

I’m on the phone hours a day
aching to be
aching to hear what those birds really say
is it me or is it them
that’s burning up inside?

furthertemppomes po'try yeah? dig?

Poems Taylor Smith 2004-2008

Some speak of poetry
Or so it all seems
I just try to speak
What I see in my dreams.
This is not fact or fiction
It’s somewhere in between
I speak of these things
When I can’t say what I mean.
My actions just fractions
Of a full fledged descent
To a confusion beyond belief
Where I can’t consent
To myself what I’m
Doing is all just not right
I’m in darkness please
Turn on the light.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
As I watch,
The city skyline
sinks.
Away from my vision, out of sight.
Sunlight paints pictures
on an urbanized canvas everywhere.
Artificial nature all mixed up
in a tarnished but beautiful reality.
The frames of all that passes us by
captured only in memory’s negatives.
Everyone passing it by, so unnoticing so unaware, so apathetic, so unaware of the world, so unappreciative, so self–absorbed.
And as no words are exchanged I
Experience a new language of thought and
communication, that everyone fears,
that everyone hides.     That simple
curiosity that disappears in so many as we age
and agree with everyone
That nothings worth thinking on too long.
That the world is already here and we are not at all in pursuit of it
Or even trying To come to terms with it once again.

The Heart of the Issue

My love is contagiously
catching me up on more than I
    can handle when trying to hold onto just one love I
want/need to spread it
Fallin’ so easily ill with
lovesick stupidity longing
and lacking desiring
dreading loss
but needing
everything changing
all the time
in a flexible state
of mind easily
conformed to my
feelings changed
so fast each minute
I’m in my own different self-time-zone but
even there
I’m always
Late or early
    but never
right on time
    That’s why you see me
    smiling at nothing laughing and running
singing at daybreak tripping and falling
Strumming next to empty bottles by myself
and writing all the time.

To be in love yes
what is it?
Something beyond your control.
Something you can’t help.
When every time you see her
you can’t stop smiling.
When you see her smile
You forget everything and
just want to stay for hours
Taking in a beauty that you can’t
just see but feel in every part of you
Erasing everything that’s on your mind
All your troubles disappear
Just melting losing control in her presence
Losing any ability to think or speak
and not knowing what to say.
_____________________

more Temp pomes

 

waves wash through my window

they’re waves of common sense

they validate my viewpoint

my life’s been different since

_______________________

The wasp just appeared under my hand. Of all the other places it could’ve chosen to land, It’s legs led it lightly to a presence of fear. Whispering wings speak silence defying detection til it breaks out and I break away in shock delusion confusion. It couldn’t be just random cuz I know it was a sign, of shattered hopes and life and death and things that I can’t find. But I knew I was a coward cowered back away from unknown pain and memories I’ve chosen to forget. But then in resolve to bravery defy my own beliefs on life for fear was all that was left and lashing out in fear and apprehension I hoped to end the madness. WHACK! WHACK! Two missed attempts too weak to only lead to aggravated states of aggression and further fear to push me back and away. Just to watch. For fearful flighting from wall to frame to curtain. My cowardice of crushed up life defying what I feel for life and what I feel is to value I can’t bring myself to break it and become what I hate. If only in small increments, past fears never conquered just ignored avoided only to be brought back once again by fate to prove the lack of change and the weakness (or strength) of resolve and courage, that I must never really have possessed.

_____________________________________________

 

I lost you in summer

            I can’t dream you back

I’m lyin’ to myself

            I speak of endings

I sing of lost hope and surrender

            Didn’t try to keep things intact.

 

I’m afraid and

I don’t give of myself

to anybody.

It’s too easy to lie

and go on bending the

hell out of truth

‘til nothing will (while)

making you sick

expelling amounts of

hidden fervor for

feverish late afternoon

soul-fired burning sweet kisses

Hands everywhere holding tight to everything

trying not to lose you or my mind

in these waves of affection

Turning me disoriented, upside-down out of control.

___________________________________________

 

I dream of doubts.

I dream of a dream that screams and shouts

“I love you”.

     Distant folk of which we

spoke it has spoken

once again.

Secret lives in minds we

cannot follow my dreams breath

my thoughts can not control

These outbreaks of affection

for every living thing it’s evolution

on a daily scale that hardly

tells a soul.

I scream of vengeance but what

of that do I truly believe?

Thoughts and only actions are

the way in which I bleed.

_________________________

Temp pomes

Suddenly in Driveway
I worried with a twinge of doubt
but was awash in blissful remembrance
                of her kiss like opening a flow of replenishing electric thought-current
    As I recall how our heads touched
    and somehow through static transferred
    A vision of memories
        and past lives overlapped
            into the future
        Where  our hands are entwined and our
        Eyes speak knowingly, smiling
        to eachother’s wishes and
        bringing light to our dreams
        through words reassuring and
        rekindling the fire
        of inspired all-encompassing ecstatic love
    for the world and
            passion for further understanding
        Through experience
    So we can scream out to the world, “I LOVE YOU!!!” and mean it
    Disregarding all hatred and ignorance
    Embracing our fears
    and laughing at the overwhelmingly
    hilarious nature of existence
All this at the thought
    of the grace of her 2 lips touching mine for a brief interval of measure
    Brightening all my days forward
        leading my consciousness to e  x    p    a      n        d
ever outward
    in   Love
           Adoration
                   and Peace.

eftren talem tricdor

subreni lahk dern fite drime zeeputy jord benople ken soo ree thim. Ternaloop dischk lemb arn fahee laenmen.

Umnok Keeahruohm

Ohlacka reomninemp triemphidall. Ticheranthum morus Aybull. Duominter lahbminterlel shorhenophel ur duramph.

Exonimble RHoteleth

hoted smastel spredicamtills ridding  raddles fintle labinacles. Spint arund bre endicariment druly runding farthensen gribe. Trueth ditonech ribe en verdly soken forkwent trundley barth.

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